Almost Lost the 944 Tonight...

"K-Roll-PorscheTamer" (k-roll390) 12/16/2015 at 19:15 • Filed to: Sweet relief

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What happens when an idiot in a junky Malibu Maxx makes an illegal left turn without blinkers, the person in front of you slams on his brakes, and the person behind you doesn’t brake until the last minute...I almost became a sandwich tonight.

I slammed on my brakes but I locked up and almost slid into the car in front of me and someone in a 2012-14 Focus didn’t slam on his brakes until the last second. We were all damn near centimeters apart for what seemed like ages waiting for the bloke to finally turn around.

Thankfully, I, my 944, and my Thai food live to drive another day; not the Thai food, I’m eating that now.

jkm7680 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 12/16/2015 at 19:19

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Pro Tip: Never trust anything/anyone who drives and/or is related to a Malibu Maxx.

iSureWilll > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 12/16/2015 at 19:24

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Your Thai was IN the car?! Good thing it didn't spill all over the car!

Birddog > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 12/16/2015 at 19:24

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We need to round up all the Malibu Maxx and deport them. Then build a beautiful wall. A wall with a door. That way the Malibu owners can visit without ruining this great country.

Frank Grimes > jkm7680 12/16/2015 at 19:25

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what if ls swap?

Frank Grimes > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 12/16/2015 at 19:26

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mmm thai food. I am glad you are ok and well enough to eat food. Also I would be sad if 944 was hurt.
What kind of thai food?

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Frank Grimes 12/16/2015 at 19:28

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ESPECIALLY if it’s an LS swap.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 12/16/2015 at 19:29

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Good to know it didn’t end in disaster. Hmmm what kind of Thai?

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Frank Grimes 12/16/2015 at 19:31

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I got some curry rice with spring rolls. The rice variant of my favorite Pad Thai curry noodles. :)

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > iSureWilll 12/16/2015 at 19:32

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I always have food in my car in containers. No one ever eats in it unless it’s my dad.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 12/16/2015 at 19:32

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Curry rice with spring rolls. :)

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 12/16/2015 at 19:32

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This is why you drive the Focus.

Sovereign, Purveyor of Coupes > Birddog 12/16/2015 at 19:33

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The funny thing about this is every single Malibu Maxx owner I’ve ever met was an illegal immigrant. No exception.

jkm7680 > Frank Grimes 12/16/2015 at 19:33

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no

TheHondaBro > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 12/16/2015 at 19:33

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Your Thai food drives?

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback 12/16/2015 at 19:35

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This is why? I was thinking had I driven the ST in the same scenario, the Focus behind me would’ve rear ended me because the brakes were better. But who knows, best left to the unknown.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 12/16/2015 at 19:37

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Which would you rather lose? Not saying, wrecking the Focus would be good but losing the 944 would hurt more, I feel.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback 12/16/2015 at 19:43

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Wrecking the Focus would’ve been safer for me physically and emotionally.

Urambo Tauro > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 12/16/2015 at 19:51

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Yikes! Good thing your reflexes were sharp. I hope the Maxx driver received an earful for that.

Frank Grimes > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 12/16/2015 at 20:12

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awesome. I havent had thai in a long time and was hoping for some tips on tasty dishes.

CaptDale - is secretly British > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 12/16/2015 at 20:14

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Glad you’re safe. And the 944. That shit gets scary quick.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Frank Grimes 12/16/2015 at 20:17

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If you like spice it’s a good and simple choice. I also like von sen, or pad von sen.

Jonathan Harper > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 12/16/2015 at 21:03

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I once saved a 996 911 Turbo from certain death by keeping a keen eye on the rearview when traffic was backed up onto the highway off an exit, just around a pretty sharp bend. A subaru came flying up and I could immediately tell they didn’t notice traffic was stopped, despite my hazards, jammed the car in 1st cranked the wheel and basically dumped the clutch. The car jumped into the grass and stalled and the Subaru rear ended the Jeep in front of me. I felt badly, but not as badly as I would have felt if the Turbo had gotten hit.

Jonathan Harper > Birddog 12/16/2015 at 21:05

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This...is amazing.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 12/16/2015 at 21:12

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Oooh! Red or Green? I love red curry

Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 12/16/2015 at 21:13

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Be careful dude, she’s a classic now. Porsche just claimed 70% of their cars ever made are still on the road. You wouldnt want to be the one who ruins that statistic.

Hahayoustupidludditeshutupandgohandcrankyourmodeltalready > Birddog 12/16/2015 at 21:34

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...and we’re gonna get all the Malibu owners to pay for it.

Hahayoustupidludditeshutupandgohandcrankyourmodeltalready > TheHondaBro 12/16/2015 at 21:35

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|recommend|

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed 12/16/2015 at 21:39

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They’ve been claiming that for years. :p

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Jonathan Harper 12/16/2015 at 21:40

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We’re heroes :)

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Sovereign, Purveyor of Coupes 12/16/2015 at 21:59

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Funny you say that. My coworker has one and if she was an American she would be the female version of Donald Trump. Essentially she is un-educated white trash.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 12/16/2015 at 22:00

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The pictured Malibu Maxx is not junky. It’s awesome.

Now if it wasn’t one of them, I can get behind the use of the term.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Birddog 12/16/2015 at 22:00

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NOT the pictured one though.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > jkm7680 12/16/2015 at 22:02

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But SS. The pictured model is an SS. All the others can burn, but SS.

Frank Grimes > Birddog 12/16/2015 at 23:42

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I like em. especially the ss.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 12/20/2015 at 14:10

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They made an SS? WTF?